accidentally in love

sianness of unknown origin

2011-08-27T23:21:00.003+08:00

i am lying in bed with my macbookair, thinking of how much of my material assets i do not use. when i come home the only things i ever really touch are my toiletries, the bed and the computer. there's no need for all the soft toys, storybooks, posters of jaychou, and thousands of postcards/keychains/trinkets randomly collected over the years. they don't seem to add any value. i can't even remember when or how i came by half of them. feel like throwing out everything, pressing delete, and starting from scratch.

just me, the bed, a toothbrush and my macbookair.

i feel like i'm in limbo. can i really bring myself to just pack every object, that somehow used to be a part of my growing up, into black plastic bags and not give a hoot? what if my macbookair crashes and all the photographs i did not develop were to disappear forever and ever?

i also feel like i want to quit working and travel forever and ever. be a stranger in a strange land, although i like the familiarity of my bed, the smell of my kitchen and the warmth that spreads through my chest when i hear the heavy breathing of the rocky monster the moment i step into the house. i want to just float around, and not be committed to anything just for a few years or so. damn the bond. but is that just an excuse for not being brave enough to just go?

hai.

maybe lack of rest, proximity to exams, or simply the underexposure to sunshine is making me feel this way. or a retarded quarter century crisis kinda thing.

redefining hope

2011-01-29T20:55:00.006+08:00

on normal night calls, just a glance to check if it's a real plastic IC rather than a photocopied version. but last night i had some time, and was (honestly) attracted to the blue tag to be attached to the body.

so i took a longer look at the photograph. a fine featured lady, with well groomed hair and a smile that radiated confidence and sheer happiness. out of curiosity i flipped open the big blue case file, its thickness an indication of her length of stay.

on the first page, in large clear letters, an order for no extraordinary measures to resuscitate her if she were to pass on. and her diagnosis - which happened to be the same as the cause of death, in as few words as possible (each letter on the death certificate costs money)

subsequent pages in the file were a summary of her condition till date. somehow it was not as medical-jargon-littered as i expected it to be. it started off with her social background - 49 and already widowed a few years ago, with 2 children under the age of 30. a beautician by training. it struck me that the man at her bedside was probably my age or thereabouts. the only difference is that i still felt like a kid while he was a grown person with a heavy load on his shoulders; it's never easy to watch your only living parent take her last gasp of breath. it's never easy to watch the process of deterioration, from fighting a cancer so bravely to stopping all therapy and just waiting and praying for It to be as painless and peaceful as possible. it's never easy to find your world spinning madly out of control and changing forever more.

he asked me if i was here to certify the death. it was the most awkward question because i was the one who was called yet i had no license to do so. all i could do was wait for a senior. he didn't know what i was saying, i don't think it mattered. his mind was overwhelmed with change, it did not matter that i was not the one to pronounce the death.

meanwhile, i went behind the curtains to check for any signs of life. not that i was expecting to find any as soon as i saw the flatline on the monitor. a moment of solitude without her family members who had throughout the night, one by one, streamed in and out. in that minute while i was there, i served no purpose. i could not bring her back, nor could i offer comfort or closure to the family who had their fair share of grief that night. they already knew, they already came to say their peace.

no one had bothered to switch off the wall oxygen, vigorously streaming air into her via nasal prongs, obviously to no avail. it seemed a tragic joke for a milisecond. i turned down the oxygen, and covered her exposed areas with a blanket; the ecg leads were hanging precariously from her unmoving chest as someone had moved the machine and dragged the leads with them. then i looked at her face and startled myself. this was not the woman in the photograph. her left eye was swollen shut, her right eye was fixed, half open, half staring ahead. her frozen face so haggard and sallow it was completely unrecognisable. the photograph did not capture the hours of misery she must have endured, from making the decision to stop her therapy, to telling her children, to accepting death. if at all. her left hand was puffy, and cold to touch - yes i still reached out to pat her hand to comfort her, out of reflex i guess.

i wondered, if she was a troublesome patient and seriously doubted it. their perspective must have been the complete polar opposite from the rest of the patients'. it was just a quiet few minutes of the night call that brought along such reflective thoughts i'm not eloquent enough to put down in words. if you knew your patient only had a limited time and there's nothing to do to stop It, would you still try your damndest to help them? how? by making things easier for them and their families, what with the circumstances, the managing team pulls out all stops and takes nothing lightly. so many people hope to be cured, but special patients these are. they hope to go... on their own terms. no wonder they call it redefining the meaning of hope.

bye 2010!

2010-12-31T19:50:00.004+08:00

it's been a while! 2010 passed by really quickly since work started and now blogging seems like such an ancient thing...

for tradition's sake, the 10 best things of 2010....
(an coincidentally, all these happened AFTER point number 1)

1. being over and done with mbbs
2. having a brand new niece
3. going to africa (now see points 4 and 5)
4. climbing a mountain till my legs were about to fall off
5. seeing the best sunsets Ever at the Serengeti
6. starting work (haha i might have to rethink this) and meeting a whole buncha cool people
7. having leave! :D
8. being thanked by grateful patients! :)
9. quitting my tv addiction (yeah right)
10. having really great company whenever Somebody isn't overseas

hai. such lacklustre blogging... time for a break.

maydaymayday

2010-05-02T17:26:00.007+08:00

work is starting soon. going to go one day earlier to make sure things handover smoothly. how surreal is it that i get to say work instead of school.

grad trip to africa with 6 people i was not so close with turned out to be the best travelling experience ever, and now i have 6 good friends :)

here's my usual 10-things-i've-learnt-during-my-holiday shpeel:

1. corruption is abound, 20 bucks to bribe a police man to write us a lost items statement when wx lost his phone on the bus
2. sunsets, with no buildings to interrupt your line of vision, are heavenly. serengeti (meaning endless plains) lives up to its name, with clouds stretching as far as the eye can see, with all the shades of grey and silver possibly known to mankind.

3. animal sightings are fun, only for a maximum of 4 or 5 days. and that's if you're as lucky as i am; i got to see "the big 5" of african safari animals :) and lions mating - the stuff of natgeo documentaries!

4. if your mosquito net has holes in it, you might as well not use it. (i was going to take a photograph of it but i was too itchy to take out my camera so here are some elephants instead :)
5. falling asleep on a window seat in the bus/safari jeep will most often lead to a sunburn on that side of your body. in africa, sunblock up! btw fyi they buy 2nd hand cars from countries like singapore - check out the comfort cab we spied in zanzibar, where they didn't even bother to paint over the old adverts on the side (call 6552 1111!)
6. floating around in the indian ocean will most often lead to a sunburn on the backhalf of your body. that said, snorkelling in zanzibar is AMAZING. visibility of ~10-20m? AND DOLPHINS!!!! (okay, no photos because we were in the water for the visually stunning stuff and had no underwater cameras) oh, and zanzibar i will always remember for being the place we got our results, at 4am no less, and started a screaming/shouting fest in our bungalow by the sea :) hurray!

7. walking upslope to an elevation of 5000metres above sea level brings you closer to the sun, and will most often lead to a sunburn where you do not cover your face with sunblock/a ski mask. when summiting, ensure adequate protection!

8. please train before climbing a mountain, especially if it's the tallest peak in africa. mount kilimanjaro was physically demanding only because of our lack of fitness and the ever unpredictable altitude sickness. and also, retching is as miserable as puking.

9. sometimes it's the walking downhill that is more disastrous than walking uphill. for proof of that, i have bilateral subungal hematomas that turned from red to purple to blue to TOXIC GREEN.

10. appreciate, and use, clean toilets (especially those located above the level of the clouds with superb views albeit nasty smells!), drinkable water, and a roof over your head, as often as you can, whenever you can. just in case you don't get a chance to use them again for a long long time.

that's all for now, time to rest and enjoy my last few hours of freedom. glad to have had this chance to recharge and super happy to have such nice (for now) employers! :D

24 hours later

2010-03-29T21:08:00.002+08:00

IT'S OVERRRRR :D

time to play, travel, and stop facebooking! :)
aka, have a life! :)))
cyall when i return from the great continent of air-free-karrrr

last days as a medical student

2010-03-26T23:51:00.004+08:00

sure feels uneasy. i pray. seriously, sincerely and wholeheartedly pray, that things go alright the next 2 days, the last 2 days of m5. and that monday marks a whole new chapter of our lives. hopefully will be employed by mid-april and have to come back to start that dreadful thing called work, which i'm looking forward to more than tmr's medicine long case exam.

it's just nervous rambling here. hai. maybe more when i come back from battle =p

addendum: may the medicine good luck carry through another 24 hours please please please. i am thankful for today's nice examiners and thoroughly helpful patients! :) good job, carry on! PLEASE!

surgery session 4 0730hrs

2010-03-24T17:06:00.007+08:00

it has finally come, the day where we sit for our final mbbs clinical exams (or actually this is just for the surgical track) . all the late nights, or attempts at it, and all the facebook learning have come down to the next few hours. or rather, 30+20+16minutes.

the night before, insomnia and eventually a strange dream about barney stinson from himym bullying a little kid in the mirror.

the morning itself, palpitations. even more than the 4 days of serious palpitations every time i read the accounts from my classmates. here's my own account.

SYSTEM: ortho

LONG/SHORT: Long
HOSPITAL: ____

TESTERS: CT, AT (i have no idea who was active or passive because both talked to me, and after a while my brain got tired, and it became just a friendly voice and 2 eyes)

ACCOUNT: not my birthday, didn't get the 2 prof lows for shorts or longs. but the 2 mentioned are rather cute, smiley and very encouraging. really helped when you get freaked out after reading 4 days worth of scary accounts.

Summary: Right OA knee X 3 years, secondary to right tibial fracture (fixed in a cast, no plates or screws, healed with malalignment 35 years ago) currently on glucosamine daily and paracet prn, on follow up at ttsh, not for any op in the near future, woohoo. Typical history of right mechanical knee pain, ruled out inflammatory causes, malignancy, septic arthritis, and screened for other joints. Function limited due to the pain, can't jog his normal 10km/day (this 71 year old uncle is fitter than all of us now) and sometimes difficulty kneeling to pray in the mosque. no DM, only htn and chol. 30 minutes passed really quickly, but in between i was talking rubbish with my patient. NO MO TO HELP WITH ANYTHING. but nvm, OA knees, damn happy already. Examine knee, remember to walk the patient. This man compensated with his other leg, which i suspect is also in pain but he refused to say cos he was scared i'd have to present more things.

They came in while i was examining his limb length which the patient pointed out to me in the beginning but i just got carried away after my initial knee exam, heart lungs abdo. can i just mention that i LOVE this man, he spoke english fluently, clarified every point for me, and even said "er i have back pain also but i can don't tell the examiners later, it's not that important" when i looked a bit shocked after taking an entire OA knee history. "no no, uncle, thank you but every pain is important to me, but if it's not bothering you, then we concentrate on the main knee problem la okay."

AT said, why don't you leave and consolidate, while we talk to him a while (is this what everyone got to do?? it's surg right, not med??) quickly summarised my points on a separate paper while i overheard the testers asking the patient for his main complaint. then the invisible MO came to tell me, eh not much time leh, just go back in. 71 year old malay man, retired protocol officer (CT interrupted and was like, wow what is a protocol officer, and started asking the patient which VIPs he escorted etc etc... WASTE TIME)

After i finished presenting, the typical qns ensued.
1. What are your differentials? "RA, gout, septic arthritis are not so likely"
AT: Huh? Girl, where's your main diagnosis, why did you say the rest first! Calm down! "oh yes, sorry i thought i made it clear in my history and summary that my main diagnosis is OA knee"

2. Oh, so in this case, we learn that there's more to OA than just primary OA right. what is the main cause of his right knee pain? - "the tibial fracture causing malalignment so development of genu varum and redistribution of weight causing increased wear and tear of medial compartment of the knee joint. "

3. Why did you tell me about no LOA LOW night sweats and night pain? to rule out TB/mets.
4. What other parts of the history are important.
5. Show me how you examine his knees, so i rolled up his trousers and started describing the genu varum, 8cm intercondylar distance. Name me the effusion tests, how to do.

6. Oh i see you marked his quads, very good. Oh i see you marked his asis and medial malleoli, very good. So is there limb length discrepancy? "sir i measured and found that there's NO discrepancy even after squaring the pelvis etc" (i really found no discrepancy but then when i looked down i saw there really was shortening, argh!) "however i would expect there to be in this case because of his genu varum as well as the tibial fracture causing shortening" OH okay, we believe you then, since you already marked everything nicely.

7. Okay, show me range of movements. What does he have? "Fixed flexion deformity." Prove it.
Tell me what it's called when on passive movement he CAN extend? BRAIN BLOCK. "er, flexion deformity, not fixed." AT laugh laugh laugh, yes you just described what i asked but is there a name for this, girl? "er, extensor lag!!!!!" YES, let's move on.

8. They brought me outside the cubicle and showed me an xray THEN asked for investigations. "As a HO and on admission, do typical bloods, and AP/lateral (weightbearing) + sky line xrays" Describe the xrays, which compartment is affected?

9. How to manage? Regurgitated everything in the last 20seconds after the bell rang.

Advice:
1. Clerk quickly, examine quickly, 30 minutes passed so quickly.
2. Give a good summary.
3. NO MO IN ___ TO HELP, except to tell you that there's 5minutes left. but if i pass and if i'm a HO in ___, and if i'm free, i'll come and help :)
4. If the tester wastes time, just use the time to think about what to say next
5. Just say simple things and don't shoot yourself in the foot esp if you have a nice straightforward case
6. Thank your patient! Build KARMA!

SURG: Short cases

HOSPITAL: ___

TESTERS: CNL (nice nice!!) and some other nice old man (i love old men!! :)

1. AC joint subluxation
- didn't even notice the asymmetry or step deformity until palpation.
- wtf i thought i read shoulder (ant dislocation, frozen shoulder, rotator cuff tears) but i really didn't think i'd get this. don't even recall ever having known anything about it.
- the testers might as well have taken my hand, put it at the deformity and asked me qns. they were really nice to try and lead and get me to look more carefully. do not rattle off "no asymmetry, no squaring etc" MUST REALLY LOOK.
- what are the gradings (i really didn't know but mentioned, stable unstable, and he kinda just nodded and moved on knowing that i really didn't know)
- what's the difference between subluxation and dislocation
- how to manage
- will you manage differently if he is a professional badminton player
(I DUNNO but i just said yes/no/yes until someone nodded and pushed me off to the next case, who was actually just sitting in a chair 20cm away from the 1st man, and the 3rd case for that matter)

2. thyroglossal cyst
- first damn obvious one i've seen in my life!
- how to manage, describe the op (sistrunk procedure, removal of the cyst, its tract and the central portion of the hyoid bone)

3. dorsal ganglion cyst
- examine (soft, cystic, more prominent (not bigger) on wrist flexion)
- what is a dorsal ganglion cyst attached to
- management, draw on his wrist how to excise
(testers rocked, i just drew an elliptical thing, then he said really? i changed to a vertical incision, then he said really? i changed to a horizontal incision. then he said, VERY GOOD!)
- advice to patient after excision? may recur

4. direct hernia, irreducible
- examine his right groin
- went to examine scrotum instead, cos i thought the right scrotum looked abnormally low compared to the left "can't get over the scrotal mass, not separable from testis, soft in nature, no cough impulse"
- was later educated on how actually that's normal >.< damn sian. girls, pls go look at more balls haha. no wonder while i did running commentary there was absolute silence
- tester repeated, "examine his right GROIN, girl!!"
- looked upwards, saw a vague mild fullness in right groin, just imagined a cough impulse cos i heard some bells ringing, quickly described a direct hernia and got him to lie down to reduce. he tried and he said, okay can only reduce half. there was NO VISIBLE DIFFERENCE after he reduced half of it lor. the most unhernia-ish hernia in the world =/
- nvm carry on, what are the types of hernia (irreducible, incarcerated, strangulated) and how will a strangulated hernia present. THE END. argh.

you're the one thing that i'm missing here

2010-03-17T00:27:00.004+08:00

i need to be bold
need to jump in the cold water
need to grow older with a girl/boy like you
finally see you are naturally
the one to make it so easy
when you show me the truth

yeah, i'd rather be with you
say you want the same thing too
say you feel the way i do

february's fool

2010-02-28T10:04:00.010+08:00

studying has never been a breeze for me, life is too good to have my head in a book all day long. sheesh. i've been told to focus. perhaps, it's rightly so since there are more important things in life to conquer first. and then because it's lent; i'm supposed to be fasting or depriving myself of fun or something to that extent. but. i think it's all just an excuse to avoid me. yes i got the hint. but i don't know if i'm going to go anywhere.

this blog was started when i was single (and have been ever since) then strayed to various other locations with more gory details and now it's more of a general updating interface. today, i'm surprisingly honest because i doubt people read this nowadays. nothing has changed, the net sum is still the same. there's still 1 of me, ?no ?other ?half, give or take a few heartbreaks and meltdowns. back to square one although there's been 7 years of experiences and revelations. just a thought, maybe ending it (the blog, nothing else) will be better for my love life? =p

let me just state for the record that i absolutely Hate playing games; manipulation and trickery do not sit well in my books. i'd rather take myself out of the equation if that's the case. does that explain why i suck at maintaining any kind of relationship with anyone? i doubt it, it just means that i run at the first sign of trouble and then somehow, always live to regret. although i'd hate to think i forced anyone into anything they didn't like, maybe it'll be different this time, stick it out and see what happens? sigh.

this, randomly, is just a photograph, of me throwing someone, that i like. =p

another countdown

2010-02-17T00:00:00.003+08:00

3 days left to be in the wards! wow! that's really quite scary. i have palpitations just thinking about going back to the wards after the cny break.

looking back, there's too many things to reflect on. and for now since my brain has short circuited after all the attempted studying of orthopaedics, all i can say is... i'm glad and extremely grateful for my clinicalgroupmates, and their enthusiasm. for without them, i'd be at home every day of the week instead of treasuring our (now even more so) limited time in the wards.

38 days to the start of the end of the start of the end...

2010-01-29T10:36:00.003+08:00

today is a lowlow day. woke up sleepy 3 hours ago. and i predict will still be sleepy in 3 hours. luckily it's a relatively relaxing day - actually all days can be relaxing, it's the pressure we give ourselves that make us work like mad dogs la.

i've been staring at notes on anti-psychotic drugs for about half an hour and nothing has gone in. HAI. need to psych up!!! (haha no pun intended) don't know how much good this blogging thing will do for studying but whatever. hope to be back with better news soon.

mm mmmmm, gooood :)

sleeping to dream

2010-01-08T23:20:00.004+08:00

58 days left!

how on earth did the past dunno how many days zoom past like no one's business?

and now i can only say
1. it sucks to be sick
2. it sucks to be me this very day

gonna sleep this bug away... may april hurry come quick (or maybe not) and with good news (yes! definitely. please?)

ps. happy new year! remember my "new year new love" saying, let's hope it applies this year - out of the other 23 years it hasn't, maybe it'll be a good year this year.

goodnight two oh oh nine

2009-12-31T23:51:00.007+08:00

what a year, what a year

1. the year i cut my hair really short, a few times (yeah k you can't really see it but it's shorter)
2. the year klassie went to heaven

3. the year i collected many cool photos with many friendsrandom spontaneous trip to marina barrage before it got all crowdedfailed trip to the night safari... made do with stuffed animals :)

4. the year we passed patho, and went on great adventures during electives

took this right before being freaked out by a guy peeing next to me!

5. the year we started cousin brunches (and other brunches)

the first time at rider's cafe. heavenly

6. the year my brother got married, and i got a new sister, AND waxed a guy's leg hair!

(photo from the very awesome photographer, wansheng! www.feldberyl.com)

7. the year before MBBS starts (read: the year of intensive mugging)

8. also the year where de-stressing got extremely fun

played touch! (it's become a yearly affair now) and we didn't lose! :))

9. the year i was given the stamp of evil and met many cool new people "interning" at various healthcare institutes =p and explored most of the food&beverage places nearby
10. the year i sang in public AKA the day my clinical group carolled in the wards
and the year i met you (though you don't know it, nor do you read this thank goodness) :) i wonder what lies ahead (aha!! see below)

15 days to christmas!

2009-12-11T09:23:00.003+08:00

this is an omg-i-used-to-have-hair photo.
how random this photo is (honlyn is the photographer) and the terrible accompanying video. that i hope is lost for good.

hello there, it's been a long while.

2009-12-05T01:24:00.003+08:00

clean forgotten the purpose of this blog. it's been so long since i actually published something i typed here. if there were less people on my facebook, i'd blog there; everytime i log in it asks me what's on my mind. cute, like a boyfriend would? (not that i'd know huh)

so this is what is on my mind: i still miss klassie, acutely as ever.

and i miss so many things. but i don't have the right to be complaining of missing things or people when others have had it worse. i know i'm lucky to be blessed with all the luxuries i could ask for, but i just want one thing money can't buy. actually i want 2 things. or 3! see, there you go, i'm being greedy again.

greed, lust, sloth and envy. the picture below says it all. psych up, let's all pass and go see this for ourselves.

Uhuru Peak, Mt.Kilimanjaro, originally uploaded by flimseflo.

just my personality, yeah right.

2009-11-25T13:11:00.004+08:00

i wonder how many times i shot myself in the foot just now; talking too fast, thinking too slow, or not at all, or in reverse. as the minutes tick by i can envision a cartoon figurine of myself digging a big fat hole specially for me to bury myself in.

funny how far we've come, or not. 5 years and still lost. 23 years, and still lost.

is my day of generalised aching, nausea and fatigue from the vaccine, the MSG in the packet of chips i inhaled out of stress, or from the weight of the looming exam (yeah 103 days and counting, fuck)

one, two ready go!!

2009-11-03T09:52:00.005+08:00

many thanks to this random photo's owner! i went on a rampage image hunt last night while procrastinating you see, cos there's only 125 days to mbbs!

but that's hardly on my mind. i keep thinking of brunch, soft towels and klassie.

and the residency programme. this newfangled term on everyone's lips, causing a frenzied search for recommendation letters and hasty decisions (based on goodness knows what) about the rest of our lives.

that is, if i survive the following 125 days.

temporary post!

2009-08-17T16:00:00.007+08:00

people start spamming comments when you don't post for too long so i've decided to write something.

the few months i've been gone, it's been a whirlwind of emotions, a rollercoaster ride to the other side of the world and back, and a mad rush through hospital postings and such.

some random things i've learnt, in sgh, new york and san francisco:

1. new experiences, good or bad, build character
2. never be afraid to ask for help; better to be humbled now than cause harm by being too proud
3. if i don't eat for an entire day, i will be alright
4. if i don't sleep for an entire day, i will crash my car
5. it is fun being a doctor, though i'm not one yet and i doubt fun is the right word to use in front of patients who are sick and suffering
6. good company is harder to find than good food
7. taking photographs with a film camera is much more exciting than using a digital camera all the time.
8. a lot of good things happen by the kindness of strangers. so, be grateful.
9. sometimes, things change and you cannot help it. [you can go away for 3 weeks, and the whole world is different when you come back. HAI.]
10. if i don't let go, i cannot move on

more like a carpet than a rat now :)

2009-06-09T15:33:00.003+08:00

courtesy of my father.

in case you forgot what he was like a month ago... cool huh :)

good game.

2009-04-30T01:20:00.003+08:00

wow, when people said to have no expectations about travelling so you wouldn't be disappointed, i bet they totally didn't see this coming.

tough luck? sucks balls la. it feels like it's hit already, a thousand times over. and yet it feels like nothing's happened. such an eventful non-event. feels worse than breaking up or being heartbroken or whatever - i'm really not one to speak here - so yeah.

GOOD GAME.

what is a collie without his fluff?

2009-04-28T00:46:00.002+08:00

hi, i am sitting at home rotting in front of the computer, battling the curse of the holiday plans, which is i'm sure related to murphy's law (of how the worst things - falling sick, having insufferable odynophagia, breaking a wheel on my samsonite, and worst of all, the goddamn swine flu - happen at the worst possible times), i managed to dig up some old pictures of klassie whom i previously called furry/fluffydog etc.

beforeafter
beforeafter.
my shirt from a nasa exhibition 10 years ago.
i only stopped wearing it yesterday.

and he stands!!! my rat/stick-dog. awww, still super cute right :)

i only have one thing to say tonight

2009-04-23T02:41:00.003+08:00

hopefully, we (as in, everyone including me) will be celebrating in less than 365 days' time.

and omg someone please make this ?dysphagia stop!! :(

lastly, random photo of the day: a love-hate relationship
don't know why he looks so big here.

when the tutor's away...

2009-04-13T11:22:00.003+08:00

electives are the time to playplayplay. i had nice lunches/dinner with nice friends before the long easter weekend. happy easter friends :)

a pseudo-food-review to resurrect my blog.

we drove a long way from bt timah across the island to the east, just to find this place (Etna Restaurant and Pizzeria, 110 Upper East Coast Rd), and by the time we found it, parked and walked, it was 215pm. the waitress was mightily pissed with us showing up just 45 minutes to closing time, and it showed. she mumbled "last order in 5 minutes" dumped the menus on the table and trudged off to scowl at us from behind the cash register, where she was too busy totalling up and doingdunnowhat to serve us water.

we ordered 2 set lunches (since there were only 2 choices for each course and the 2 of us wanted to try everything) and the first thing to come was some forgettable soup and a forgotten salad. should've just paid money for a main course than think we'd be getting nice starters.

"where are the cherry tomatoes?!" note the lack of any glasses, and water. did i also mention that we were the only 2 freaking people in the entire restaurant.
k this is only a pseudo-food-review cos we were quite satisfied with the mains (steak and carbonara) the food came very quickly cos i suspect they wanted to get rid of us, and we didn't even stop to take photos till after haha :)
the ambience is actually quite nice and homey despite the glaring waitress who was immediately cheered up when we paid our bill and asked for dessert, which was a scoop of boring but not bad chocolate ice cream. overall, not really worth $22++ but if there's a discount, and considering the free parking, i might still go back there to try everything else.

i'm in love with the lamp :)

too bad no photos for Jerry's Bar and Grill, and the Hilltop Restaurant. die la, if this is any reflection of my eating habits, i'm going to get so fatttt in america :)

badly drawn boy rocks :)

2009-04-06T23:37:00.000+08:00

heard this song at the end of definitely, maybe (currently playing on HBO)

oh, sweet morning
is your head not right
did you heed my warning
this is the time of times

and your head feels like your body
your mind is close behind
there's a teardrop on your shoulder
yes this is the time of times

it's the time of times, again

picked up my plane tickets from raffles place today :)
whatever happens, at least i'll be going to new york, with a roof over my head.

random photo from my very non-professional iphone camera (it has a mirror-ed screen protector which "allows" me to blindly take photos, giving a very random effect, at best. haha)

all i want to do is love you

2009-03-29T10:06:00.001+08:00

the first half of my electives have been fantastic so far, even though academically highly unproductive =p soon everyone will be flying/have flown off to various parts of the world to learn all kinds of new stuff. not looking forward to school starting in june, but i am looking forward to having everyone back together again.

it's been a great few weeks of coming and going to school whenever i want, and having the luxury of time to sleep, eat non-routine meals like brunch, tea and latelatesuppers, and meet whoever i want for as long as i want :) the best part is that my friends are free to hang out too. if you've ever tried to fix a time to meet with me you'd understand. this is like one big miracle since medfac schedules are never in sync with the rest of the world. sigh =p

(free) tea with zhimin @ halia

random meeting @ mos

the other photos are too embarrassing to put up. but the main point of this blog is to show you how cute they are and to say that i really love my friends :))

for the freedom i'll be missing next year

2009-03-13T00:21:00.001+08:00

not really looking forward to studying like mad again. so in anticipation of depressing days, i've gathered a few happy photos over the past week. after o&g ended, on a happy note no less :)

after yello jello, before my car battery died =/

i love this photo, reminds me of the time we went crazy at kaizhi's house after a bbq

and hello, is klassie not the cutest dog in the world? this is him sleeping in his house before it got torn down for rocky's new house to be built in its place. YES, WTH.haha, apparently no one in my family has any coordination or timing =p
an improvement? =)surely, this will be a constantly revisited post, when i think about good food, and good times, where there's absolutely no pressure and my skin's just beginning to get better HAHA.

somewhere over the rainbow

2009-02-26T12:07:00.003+08:00

is another rainbow!

could it be, that this magical effect of light and water has made the gossip/self-induced-horrible-afternoon all better? coupled with how i devoured half a dozen chicken wings at chompchomp wayyy after midnight (this is an amazing feat of curfew stretching, if you knew me at all) and i have to say that the day turned out fantastic after all :)

love how the arc of colours divides the sky and somehow throws light on to the tree right under it. squint to see the double rainbow :)

and, some random photos, since i'd already taken out the camera =p
ixoras rocky and his 4th new toy of the day lastly, this is my mum weeding. under an umbrella. in surgical gloves.

brothers & sisters

2009-02-21T12:42:00.001+08:00

as we rake through photo album after photo album in search of the infamous naked-brother-having-chickenpox photograph, we found are a few (okay a LOT) of the 3 of us being spastic - that's normal in this family :)

here are some cute and not so disastrous photos. but ooh look at the evolution of the hairstyles especially on my big brother - centre parting zomg! good old days =p

i don't wanna wait for my life to be over

2009-02-15T03:56:00.003+08:00

annoyed. that on vday, it's practically impossible to hang out with people of the opposite sex without this niggling feeling that it may cause gossip and therefore ruin any chance of having fun. well done good job gah. thus with friends who are either attached, studying, overseas, or wanna avoid scandal (or just don't like me enough to spend a precious sleepy weekend on) my plan for the day was just to wake up as late as i could, and sleep as early as possible.

which was only semi-successful when i woke up at 10am. curse the 830 ward rounds which've conditioned me, albeit poorly, to wake up before noon =p then after that it was white palms - didn't like the ending, not worth a weekend movie ticket price. and street fighter 4 and a sumptuous impromptu bbq with my family. i'm still madly in love with portobello mushrooms :)

and later i had the privilege of joining some dessert-craving girls at 2am dessert bar! always wanted to go there and try but had the impression that it closed down so i never bothered to walk to that area in holland v. it turned out to be a very satisfying last meal of the day, with nicely constructed/deconstructed dishes that were so delightful to look at and savour :) bet there'll be lotsa pictures up on facebook or a blog or something. till then, have a pleasant weekend! :)

warm chocolate tart with yummy cripsy chocolate balls on salty caramel, and blood orange sorbet.

sweet like a chica cherry cola

2009-02-11T19:06:00.001+08:00

random news #1: o&g reposting started on monday. time to start using my brains again (maybe). i've been assigned to a very nice tutor and things seem clearer the 2nd time around. pass osces! psyche up!

random news #2: new york, here i come! well, in may la :)

random news #3: i must be the oldest person alive to have caught on to dawson's creek - just some brainless entertainment while i was waiting for lunch, and time to pass. the soundtrack is oh so very secondary school and very comforting, in a way that's totally unrelated to the storyline.

random news #4: next episode of gossip girl seems so far away! :(

random news #5: i just want to say, though i technically didn't do anything except read a few pages of o&g, i had a really really great day yesterday. that's all i wanted to say.

here's a photo of ed westwick and leighton meester (aka chuck and blair) to tide us over this period of emptiness =p

come on, federer!

2009-02-01T19:45:00.001+08:00

it's is a bit impossible to simultaneously watch the nadal vs federer game, and keep quiet, and blog - i've been agonising and shouting everytime federer makes a mistake :( sigh. my whole family is kinda in mourning over his loss.

anyway, friday was really good! it started with someone yelling at me on msn "COME OVER NOW" and ended with us being extremely satisfied with the adventure we went on after i went over :))

photos from our 2nd last stop for the day. it was a lot cloudier than it looked.

world's funniest photoworld's happiest looking photo :)

all things red and happy

2009-01-29T12:43:00.000+08:00

was waiting till i was in a better mood to blog [if not it'll just be all gloom and doom - see previous entry if you don't get it] after a dinner of the best (and only) risotto i've ever eaten with one of my favourite friends, here it is.

the past week has been a lovely mix of lunch and dinner treats from my closer friends. for their company and good intentions, i am eternally grateful :)

the new year of the ox started off really shakily, and the celebrations were a bit lacklustre for some reason, despite the fact that i should be celebrating the hell out of it, with no exams to study for, and no school to worry about, for once. we did manage to gather a greater part of the family and gamble into the wee hours of the morning, which is always fun when no one loses any money haha. i can't wait for saturday cousin brunch haha!!

birthday photos later, when i get them from whoever has them =p
oh, and remind me to post photos of the cows we saw one day!

our attempt at cny-ing klassie :)my dad, uncles and grandmavery cute relative!!

2009-01-24T22:14:00.003+08:00

whoever took my textbooks please return them.
that's all i'm asking for this chinese new year.
spring cleaning makes me freaking grumpy =/

post patho photos :)

2009-01-18T15:04:00.000+08:00

a slight sigh of relief with the end of patho pros and posting of the vivas list. shall write something about my fourth year after feb 3.

for now, part 1 of the random post-patho photos :)
yes, one great brunch is enough to make my day. (one of the few days i got up in time for brunch) late morning meetings, stressless conversations about nothing medical/pathological, and wonderful weather! then an afternoon full of white organza, satin and lace, with the all important peanut ice kachang. i could really get used to this lifestyle :)

in the wee small hours of the morning

2009-01-12T02:06:00.001+08:00

i thought of some shows i wanna catch this year! :)
yeah, it's about time i gave up on studying already.

1. the curious case of benjamin button
2. revolutionary road
3. the reader
4. transformers: revenge of the fallen
5. watchmen
6. rachel getting married
7. the imaginarium of doctor parnassus
8. coraline
9. terminator salvation
10. monsters vs aliens
11. angels and demons

LET'S GO!

gossip girl is back! :)

2009-01-08T13:10:00.002+08:00

right now, i wish i could sleep till the 14th. or marry him (see below)

of mugging and méxico

2009-01-05T23:38:00.000+08:00

the little nonya has ended! it is time to hunker down and continue studying for patho.

i'll leave you with a taste of the colours of mexico! ah, these are just photos of doors, walls and windows and it's enough to set off my wanderlust (can't imagine what hon would be feeling now haha.)

Mosaico de ventanas en Muestra tu México by Lucy Nieto

2009, please be good!

2009-01-01T01:00:00.000+08:00

2009 is starting off well, with rootbeer ice cream floats in the comforts of my house, and good news from my brother - wedding bells won't be so soon, but soon enough la - to put everyone in a cheery mood :)

here's to an awesome year ahead everyone! :))
no resolutions yet, suggestions?

btw i just found out how to add youtube videos here!! =p
see, what a great year, already i'm learning something new :)

this song (his version at least) gives me goose bumps!

cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth i can be,
thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
and you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

so i'm not moving...

don't hold your breath

2008-12-28T00:35:00.001+08:00

2009's not for another 4 days. can't decide if i want it to come faster (so i don't have to study), or slower (so i have time to study). the only definite thing is that i am going to brush my teeth in the next 5 minutes while i wait for the photos (see below) to load.

for every photograph, a split second of our lives captured, there's always the events leading up to that moment, and the events following it leading us to the next day, next month, next year. haha, i know i'm not really speaking in logical sentences. my point is that, not every stillframe will make sense to just any random passerby; you'd have to be there to know what's so great about that snapshot that helped me get through 2008.

for all the friendships, i'm thankful. you know who you are.
btw jo, we have to take more photos of ourselves, not just food!

an important lesson i've learnt is also that it takes two hands to clap, and if you don't want to tell me anything, i don't want to tell you anything either. so, for all the pseudo-friendships i've learnt to discard, i'm relieved.

ps. "how i met your mother" really really rocks! :)
pps. twilight the movie really really sucked :(
ppps. i really really really love jay chou :) and that's about the only photo i can find of satisfactory quality from that night. hai!

haha the year started with a bang. and it ends with me not posting anything till next year. cya! :)

i'll be home for christmas

2008-12-26T10:49:00.000+08:00

merry christmas everybody =)
let's not let patho ruin it!

无乐不作

2008-12-20T02:36:00.001+08:00

the worst seats in the theatre, but everything considered, in my opinion (and i don't care what you think) it was still one of the best shows of the year, just when i thought juno had no competitors in 2008. and after sitting through trailers, the movie, and the credits, i'm inspired to do 3 things.

1. learn to play the guitar (check out cute old man with bass!)
2. marry atari kousuke and travel the world taking photographs (k these are actually 2 separate things, i'll be happy with either one)
3. watch all the nice movies coming in 2009!

speaking of photography, as i walked down orchard road tonight, the incidence of DSLR-carriage was roughly 1 in 10 people. can't decide if i should get one cos of the peer pressure, or be different and get my lomo. still, with only $64 in my bank account, the only choice is to wait for more money to fall from the heavens =p

dinner and a movie, appreciating the singapore tourism board's efforts to promote night life/the christmas spirit and excellent tau huay, that's how i celebrated my last day of m4 postings [ent posting was as fun as any short posting could be, with the early days and weight of patho spoiling all the fun, and the test was shit.]

we all turn evil. or just me.

2008-12-18T20:53:00.002+08:00

S: i'm watching the man u match i recorded, it ended at 830 but i just got back so i dont know the score. and i've blocked L on msn in case he tells me the score.

E: huh?

[long pause while E contemplates whether to be evil or not]

E: oh, you mean the 3-0 man u one?

S: shit why you tell me!!!!!!!!!!! argh!!!!!!!!!! em, how could you?!!!!!!!
eh that was damn mean okay.

*that is not the real score btw, i just wanted to see how much this match meant to him. so whoever reads this before watching the recorded match, do not come and kill me thanks.

where you gonna go with a head that empty

2008-12-13T01:12:00.001+08:00

sleepwalking through life is what it feels like i'm doing. haven't achieved anything, except the burning of a few calories, and attaining bruises where i bumped into furniture.

even though i really think christmas is a magical time, and i usually love the holidays. i just can't wait for 2008 to end. remember, new year new love?

time to buck up, psyche up, wake up.

dear ilai

2008-12-09T01:12:00.001+08:00

look !!!! =)))
i think im a bad photographer
but i swear they are great

my friends and other animals

2008-12-07T01:43:00.000+08:00

"Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms" - George Eliot.

day out at the zoo (singapore's best tourism spot, i feel) was nothing short of fantastic despite the rain and really really long queue to buy tickets. can't decide which animal i like the best, the 2 week old baby manatee, the bored orang utan, the happy otters or the bears. but, after being kissed twice, in the rain, i think i'm falling for carlos the sea lion's really soft lips =p
kudos to bean for organising, and some amazing, exceedingly happy photos :)

when i look into your eyes

2008-12-04T01:29:00.000+08:00

ophthalmology posting has been zzz-ful, through no fault of the tutors, who have been nothing but nice, or "the system" for that matter (please, there's definitely no politics to be found here) but on the other hand, there's the fact that our eyes are something we take for granted everyday and it can be really meaningful to be responsible for returning the sense of sight to so many people.

found some awesome photographs! that probably won't be coming out for the osce eopt =p

lens adhesionbullous keratopathy

cataractpseudoexfoliation (wth, never even heard of this!)all photographs ©PJ Saine 2005

journey to the east

2008-11-23T14:23:00.001+08:00

yesterday's travels were fraught with wrong turns and bad expressway traffic jams. but fortunately it turns out that there are good people in The East, who see you struggling with a street directory (to even turn to the index page is difficult since i am dextrously-challenged) and roll down their windows to give you directions and when that fails, take time out to drive with you all the way to the place you wanted to find. so thank you, to the man in the red nissan who so kindly brought me to meet my friends in the breezy part of singapore aka east coast.

then, since i was 2 hours too late for lunch, we headed to the big splash for drinks by the beach. along the way we came across what was to me the most fascinating flea market ever - the Great CarBootSale where anyone with a car with a boot can rent a spot and sell anything they want for the weekend. we even met a consultant selling his daughter's toys and shoes, golf clubs, random articles of clothes! so cute :)
[photo from dedrick's flickr]

chilling out. it's always fun to look out at the beautiful sand and sea and sun, from the comforts of a cool shady bistro. too bad the day had to end. stupid angry clouds :/

details in the fabric

2008-11-16T18:48:00.000+08:00

random photos from my brother's camera while waiting for season 7 of w&g to load. someone lend me season 8 please? :)

running dog/s (klassie is actually moving really slowly)

flowers from my house

gotta love that furry friend :)

man and dog/monster

last of the krispy kremes from hongkong, or so i'm told
(they're all gone by now, sadly.)

the internet is for...

2008-11-09T21:29:00.004+08:00

in volatile market, only stable investment is porn

-- from my favourite character, trekkie monster!!

who as you can probably tell, has an affinity for porn.
haha!! avenue q was such a blast. do catch it! :)

the wrath of grapes

2008-11-01T16:08:00.004+08:00

1 white wine sangria had me completely sedated from 11pm to 10am. and yet somehow within that 11 hours i managed, to change out of a dress and into pyjamas, to bathrobe, to rj pe shirt in complete darkness.

the post-paeds period has been refreshing yet boring. this i attribute to both my lack of unbusy friends and lack of funds. of greatest note is that i've finally picked up my sports shoes and rekindled my interest in touch :) it feels so good (and so bad, read: unfit) running around with that odd-shaped ball and getting muddy and achey the next day. to think i went without it for 4 years. so looking forward to the end of every month!

and of course, will&grace season 3 is rocking my world right now - patrick dempsey just made a guest appearance. yummmmmy :) ah life is good when it's just tv, food and the occasional bit of sport.

in other news, congrats to the best scriptwriter for playhouse! :) and imo, we deserved to win! GODSPEED.

haha this is a series of random photos, that happen to showcase things that are bigger than they originally are. except the freaking big baby, who was so heavy that by 6 months, he was uncarry-able.

hyperglycemia +++

2008-10-26T01:02:00.001+08:00

guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses
and guys don't make passes at guys with fat asses

guess where this is from!
somehow all the tv shows i like (excluding grey's) are set in newyorkcity. how cool is that, mad about you, will&grace, friends. on to season 2 now!

this week (as is every week) was such a foody week.

OMG. XIAO LONG BAOS. steamboat buffet was unbelievable :)
except for the scary waitress who glared at me over the change in number of people coming, the free flow of Everything was more than enough to fill us up for many days to come.

OMG. seafood galore. let the pictures do the talking. :)

baby won't you take me out

2008-10-18T23:04:00.002+08:00

1 week of slackness :))
but there doesn't seem to be many people to hang out with :((

grey's, privatepractice, heroes, gossip girl, i think i might've overdone it.
quote of the day "i'm having sex, with bottega veneta" HAHA!!!

baby won't you take me out of this club
i wanna be with you

little boxes made of ticky tacky

2008-10-12T18:17:00.002+08:00

3 full seasons of weeds, watched in days. easy peasy :)
and it's no wonder, just look at the promo poster! (please just leave a comment if i need to take this down)
but. it seems an insurmountable task, to even get through a full chapter in nelson's or the notes, let alone absorb then regurgitate them convincingly by friday :(

i'm looking forward to brunches, lunches, dinners and suppers.
(read: sleeping so much that breakfast won't be a viable entity anymore)

run for hope

2008-10-05T23:15:00.002+08:00

terry fox was only 22 when he died of metastatic osteosarcoma, after running almost a marathon a day for 143 days, on a prosthetic leg.

the one-legged man running with his crutches at east coast park today is equally admirable. to quote hon, maybe his name is hope.

sleep till you're hungry, eat till you're sleepy

2008-10-02T01:47:00.001+08:00

that's what i did today. after spending many millions of hours sleeping away my fever/chills/sorethroat, i woke up, ate breakfast, brunch and lunch all in one shot, hung out with rouantan, fell back asleep and decided to finish what i've started. it's finally done!

so i was appointed by dear ilai to do this a long time ago. the rules were to just answer the questions by doing a google image search, take a picture from the first page of results, and do it with minimal explanation.

1. the age i will be on my next birthday

2. a place where i'd like to travel to (the whole world actually! but this picture is amusing)

3. my favourite place

4. my favourite food

5. my favourite colour

6. my favourite piece of clothing

7. my favourite song

8. my favourite tv show (too many to choose from!)

9. the name of my significant other/crush

10. the town in which i'm staying (haha this is 3 doors down)

11. my screen name/nickname

12. my first job

13. my dream job

14. a bad habit that i have

15. my worst fear

16. the one thing that i'd like to do before i die

17. the first thing that i'd buy if i had $1M (this, and many shoes)

18. how long i took to finish this

the end!

f1ucking happy =)

2008-09-29T01:21:00.000+08:00

i've been happy for some time, but this weekend is exceptionally so :)

night2 of f1@singapore - hotel room with a view, comes fully equipped with friends, live telecast on tv and complimentary ear plugs too =)
there's gotta be some neurological effect from just listening to the cars zoom by - or else i really don't know how to explain how the high pitched ZOOOOMs get my heart pounding like crazy; i swear you don't need anything but the atmosphere and the noise to get high.

night3, the grand prix finals! :)

zoom zoom zoomcongrats to alonso (and angel, his number 1 fan)and this guy takes the cake - a michael schumacher shirt! :)

more pictures when my brother uploads them =)

at bean's house late last night...

2008-09-22T00:41:00.005+08:00

花好月圆

2008-09-14T14:24:00.002+08:00

so this is how best to cope with a shitty situation.
1. improve karma by returning all debts
2. cleaning room thoroughly
3. having great friends around :)
4. just move on and mug for paeds.
5. oh yes, start on the cornflakes =p

朋友好月饼圆 thanks guys, i think i'm all set for life in the cornflakes department now :)

pikachu, ultraman, squirrels and traditional accordion lanterns :)

highlights, lowlights

2008-09-12T13:19:00.001+08:00

put on your highest heels and blingest bling!

an idea conjured up during the paediatric conference, now materialised, albeit with several hitches which shall remain known only to us. ate in a coolly-named (but overall not fantastic) restaurant, wine drank too fast gave me a head rush, or rather, a very red face. it's nice to recharge like this and feel not so worn down all the time :)

ps. just found out i fucking failed my o&g posting - but all is well after a bit of moping and cheering up from friends. feel free to sympathise and give me food and stuff.

now is the time to PSYCHE UP for paeds. the problem is, it's come to the end of week 3 and i'm still overwhelmed by the mountain load of information. children in hospital however, have a special quality about them i feel; those with serious illnesses are so strong it puts everyone else to shame. as for the rest, they sure know how to handle a nintendo ds very well. i can't help but be inspired by them. as you can tell, i'm beginning to like them more and more these days :) check out this cutie pie who was so endearing that kenrick zhimin and i stayed from 330 to 5sth one day to watch her run about, cut fake vegetables and just do kiddy stuff.

too little time to meet old friends! it's getting harder and harder to shift schedules around. but luckily we found time to meet for a ghimmohchickenrice dinner tonight. the old rj campus is very clean all thanks to the dunman high cleaners and i suspect the very rule-abiding student population - check out the mirror available for students to check out their uniforms!! - there are murals on the spex gall walls that used to be brown from all the handball marks, but at least some things never change. by that i mean yenghong! =p

much more than peanut butter

2008-08-31T04:14:00.001+08:00

first and foremost, happy 24th birthday zhenjin! :)
now there's semi-solid proof of your actual age.

the week's finally over - first week of the new paediatric posting is over and there's a sinking gut feeling that i'm no less ignorant than i was since the first week of csfc/surg/med in m3. sigh.

the only thing that is different is that i've kinda changed my mind about wanting to kill any kid that walks past now. my favourites are still the neonates, but now even big kids aka teenagers can be cute in their own way =p

and i have insomnia after the many glasses of coke i drank while waiting for dinner to start [it is 4am, i have finished watching meet joe black for the millionth time, literally, cos they keep playing it on hbo and cos brad pitt is really handsome in a suit] hai! and, random: i found a DEEP WRINKLE on my face. CRAP. more random: i just talked to a complete stranger from india, who logged on using my friend's msn and doesn't know how to sign out. how serendipitous. okay, this feels like some kinda hallucination. i need to sleep now now now. bye!

5 lessons learnt in a day

2008-08-23T00:40:00.012+08:00

1. lomo cameras (and their film) are expensive. damn :(

2. remember to adjust your camera settings, or at least learn how to do so, BEFORE you go watch fireworks. i still can't find the fireworks function, dear rose :(

3. shouting "let the little girl through" has surprisingly good results :)

4. the chinese have the most amazing resilience, discipline and motivation to improve and serve their community - please go and watch mad about english! :))

4.5. do not go through the ERP gantry at simlim between 605pm and 625pm. $3 gone down the drain. WTF.

5. in fact, with my empty pockets and empty petrol tank, lesson learnt is to not even drive or own a car. or you'll be surviving on no food forever more :(

lomo+electrico the 2 photos here are by zhenjin. good stuff :) the rest of the fireworks passed us by, jaw-droppingly impressive bursts of lights that make you marvel like a kid in a candy store. and as usual, all poorly captured on film with my malfunctioning camera and shakey hands.

duck porridge to save the day

2008-08-19T23:03:00.001+08:00

congested nose :(

i thought i deserved some kinda prize for waking up and going to school just for 2 hours of the most boring lecture in the world, and then walking back from block 2 to the zhangde carpark just to get the car. LUCKILY, i was treated to some fantastic flu- (and foul mood-) remedying duck porridge from south buona vista. and later it was dinner at cafe oliv with jo yun and amos, it's really affordable for the food they serve. i'll leave the food critiquing to other people with their more professional food blogs =p

oh yes, if you haven't noticed i've been stress-free (and rather bored to be honest) for a full 2 days already. cos. o&g is over Over OVER. good luck to the new batch! and may you not see me during your osces!

crush

2008-08-15T09:21:00.003+08:00

do you catch your breath, when i look at you
are you holding back, like the way i do
cause i'm trying, trying to walk away

david archuleta's song is playing on repeat - thanks kaizhi :)

happy birthday tan liwei! :)
for your present, i give you... OSCEs tomorrow.

tomorrow is the o&g mbbs OSCE session. osc EEEEE. hai.
and for the record, i slept 10 hours last night, unintentionally of course. that's why i'm so hyperactive now! study! bye! =p

emenius sleepus

2008-08-11T11:15:00.003+08:00

let's see what i can blame for not studying vigorously, when neonatology is tomorrow and o&g is on wednesday thursday and saturday. Doooooommm.

1. my bed/perpetual sleepiness
2. elbow ache and tmj-itis :|
3. the olympics
4. this craving for mao shan wang ice cream, AGAIN
5. i miss my friends :(

anyway, happy belated ndp! look at the very patriotic (and i'm guessing so totally not aerodynamic) taxi we drove past on our way to the temple. there's a flag on his dashboard too!

2008-08-09T16:13:00.001+08:00

sometimes you just need to believe me.
if not, then what else can i do?

today i woke up angry like fire

2008-08-03T01:22:00.002+08:00

but my day just got better
and betterafter popiah, triplesecicecream, millions of other dishes and massages,tonight i go to sleep happy and full. lovechus! :)
it may look like we did nothing much but sit in my room, but we were too busy laughing too hard, hurryupfasterquick, that's not my name =p

caffeine makes you say things like G-O GO!

2008-07-27T23:54:00.001+08:00

happy birthday jennie!

sentosa now sucks but we still managed to have funhaha ;)hahaha ;)

1. i don't want to G-O GO! to school :(
2. i want to stay home and sleep in/wait for my krispy kreme.
3. psyche up emily tan, 3 more weeks to the osces etc!
4. sorry ilai, i think we should just be friends haha =p
5. psyche up emily tan, it's only 2 more weeks, not 3.

passing afternoon

2008-07-24T20:26:00.000+08:00

you know i ought to be studying when there suddenly comes this big influx of blog entries.

after my many many hours of drifting in and out of sleep, and skipping a whole morning of clinics that were cancelled anyway so yay, i was so happy that it seemed rather pathological.

and so i've concluded that, from personal experience mind you, sleep deprivation comes in a close third after hunger and PMS as a major cause of all the calamities we've brought upon ourselves and the rest of mankind.

on the bright side, good food (warm toasted bread with olive oil and balsamic vinegar amongst a whole load of other yummy stuff) good friends and good weather are things that help to make life seem so blissful. never forget to count your blessings! :)

ps. johnsmith, don't forget my krispy kreme (i'd be happy with just 1 original glazed one)

nothing to do till 3pm :)

2008-07-23T11:40:00.003+08:00

foot fetish strikes again - the nurse was thoroughly amused when i told her i like babies' feet. [this is a healthy foot, with creases. premature babies have smooth soles, cos they haven't been underwater for as long.]

inspirational poster

2008-07-22T23:18:00.002+08:00

it took me a long while to notice that the baby was reaching for a pacifier. chey, and i thought it was really punching the air in enthusiasm.

21 hours in kkh with this laminated poster on the wall at station B to cheer me on. 2 deliveries may seem like a terribly low yield but i'm just grateful for the opportunity, given the circumstances, to do something useful and life-changing/giving, all by myself. woohoo.

the high has died down, and now it's time to sleep.

130708 0635

2008-07-14T00:35:00.006+08:00

the best night call i've had since that one overnighter at changi emed :)

delivered 1 baby (or largely, assisted), delivered placentae (omg, the smell - for people who say there's no smell, wait till you go closer/deliver more than 1), stitched up lacerations (slowly) and had a generally educational and entertaining time. especially the out-of-curriculum stuff like feeding neonates in the sunshine nursery! you totally cannot stop smiling when you go in :))) so worth sacrificing sleep for, so worth my weekend. or rather, i'm trying to convince myself that i really mean it.

it seems like a fitting end to it all, since i've suddenly run out of steam and lost the motivation to go to school so early every morning.

ps. happy birthday! :)
pps. welcome back yunlei! :))
ppps. oooh babies! :)))

independence day baby!

2008-07-05T23:59:00.000+08:00

1. happy birthday dearest ilai! :)

2. happy birthday to this cute little baby boy! :)
*he's the baby of someone we clerked in the delivery suite, and whose delivery zhims and amanda watched. time of birth 0208hrs - i'm so going to try and buy 4D with it haha. kept our promise and brought some chocolate (cookies) for the mum. they were so happy that they even let me take a photo of him! such a warm fuzzy feeling. awww :)

3. friday is the day school theorectially ends; worries melt away once you see your good friend walking up the driveway to say hi and play mariokartwii. i'm in love with fridays! :)

i don't care if monday's blue

tuesday's grey and wednesday too
thursday I don't care about you
it's Friday, i'm in love :))

now saturday/sunday is here, and somehow it's all gloom and doom again as i try very hard to concentrate on doing my freaking writeup (due almost 2 weeks earlier than everyone else, sigh) fail la, going to sleep goodnight.

welcome back jo!

2008-07-02T18:37:00.000+08:00

:)

my terrible scold-ful day has suddenly been made better! :)))

onfg it's 猫山王

2008-06-28T21:45:00.000+08:00

so freaking tired, but must blog about the best/only durians i've had this year!so after a long week of our respective postings, rose zhimin zhenjin and i met up and travelled far and wide - actually to serangoon only la - to look for the recently hyped up durian of this season, the famous 猫山王. it was TGIF indeed. and thanks to clairesee for finding out the address! :)

all hail the no.1 王中之王, 猫山王!this uncle is damn cute! his friend saw my camera and forced him pose!bad photography cos too excited about eating haha

omg heavenly! i liked it better than our d24 (the big one near zj)

ps. best quote today: "haha! omg your batch has better skin than the ppl on GOSSIP GIRL!" - a friend, after seeing some photo gallery done by the admin guy at o&g. ah, the powers of good lighting and maybe even photoshop, who knows. i wanted to put up velda's damn power photo but i suspect she'll kill me, so here's me and some group shots. i suddenly feel stupid about putting my photo up, but nvm! since this way it won't offend anyone, since i'm high from swimming at rose's, and more possibly, the durian smell in my car :)

last week in random photos

2008-06-22T17:13:00.003+08:00

when faced with the dilemma of choosing between studying for the next posting and playing as much as possible before we all get too old and tired, it's not that difficult really =p

first up, look at my shoe, all chewed up by rockytan aka monster dog! anybody wanna adopt an 11-month old boxer, which responds to... nothing, and is extremely useful if you're looking to destroy any object or injure your enemies? my mum was so scared i'd poison rocky that she actually brought me shoe shopping haha! sadly, due to my feet being size-challenged, the lack-of-shoes status remains. 10 chwee kueh for $2.50. food is cheap in singapore sometimes :)
this is champagne jelly - an interesting dessert to end my fantastically prepared father's day meal at iggy's! don't think i'll ever go back there again, simply because i don't have the financial capacity for it. treat me to dinner there, and i may just marry you!
my dad shoe shopping - this involves the entire family crowding up dozens of shoe shops. eventually we left without buying any shoes. he also has small feet.
saturday brunch with 412 girls - jennie upload better photos please!
opera in the park thingy. the instructions were simple - "look loving!"

alright, school starts in about 15 hours and i'm beginning to get butterflies - o&g posting sounds scary already, hai! all i can say is, i'm glad i spent some quality time during the hols catching up and enjoying myself :)

little bits of magic :)

2008-06-14T11:18:00.001+08:00

day 1 - malacca, many thanks to andrew for being our guide for the day despite the bad sore throat!
abandoned playground at the portugese settlement - where we found out who had a deprived childhood, and learnt more about the physics of swings.
sunset at the ferry terminal at lumut
after snorkelling in terribly murky and disappointing waters, our speedboat guy went round the island and introduced us to the various animal-shaped rocks. spot the leezhenjin!
nice clouds right! :)
zhimin took this photo - i was trying to hide so she could get zhenjin and hon on this long jetty that wasn't complete, and definitely not stable enough for me the chicken to go any further.
i think most of my magic was found swinging on a rope and screaming like a little girl while they pushed me higher and higher. the feeling of your heart and guts not travelling as fast as the rest of you, and the view from where you stand/swing is simply breathtaking.
best meal award goes to our dinner at pangkor, fish freshly caught and grilled over charcoal. so yummmmyy we ordered a second set :)on top of penang hill. despite the terrifying journey up by cable car (another story for another day) the view got nicer as the sun set and the air for once, was clean and cool. plus, we had a nice time talking after getting down from the hill.

on our last day, we did what no normal people would do, watch a tamil film without subtitles in a semi-rundown odean theatre. this show rocks btw. which other actor can play 10 different roles? and the girls, hotness!!! google it: dasavatharam, starring kamal hassan.

let the bumming start now.

2008-06-02T00:16:00.004+08:00

so, m3 is officially over! :)
3 weeks of mindless playing woohoo! :))
i'll be back with lots to tell and photos to show! :)))

for now, eyecandy!
adddendum: please go and catch 死神の精度! it was excellently directed and filmed - i loved the rain and the dog and takeshi kaneshiro. and the last part though predictable, was still touching and meaningful. "errr, they all have anemia!" haha :)

pps. omg smiley photo! i'm sorry takuyakimura, it's the gatsby ads that are killing my love for you la. haha in the meantime, goodbye and cya soon to all my europe-bound friends! :)

free-dom

2008-05-25T01:15:00.002+08:00

is the title of grey's anatomy season 4's fabulous finale.

is sms-ing jo in london just to laugh about strange stealing-hairstyle comments!!

is having a posting-disguised-as-a-holiday :)

is not coming home for dinner and not having to worry about it.
which means dinner out with different gangs (of friends)

photo time! :)

captain planet goes to...

kenrick the psycho pizza killer guy.

the fork photo

8 scoops of newzealandnatural ice cream - gone in the blink of an eyethe morning after (champions league hangover day) -
rangoon road bak kut teh lunch

sian cos no more food!!!top notch tea!remember prawning? we cooked it a few days later with...cereal and drunken prawns. kudos to benjy for his hospitability!no photos of the finished product - gobbled up too fast!

of hot chicks and prawning

2008-05-19T18:24:00.001+08:00

in an incubator at science centre - the defining moment.

with psych posting being free as it is, and the parents passing me an invite to some opening ceremony at science centre, i had the pleasure of exploring the whole science centre at night - dinosaurs, thehumanbody, robotics, optical illusions, and of course the incubator - for free! :)

next up, prawning today with ceegeetwo and some of mine. though i was apprehensive about fishing for prawns on vesak day, at a location in the middle of a cluster of temples, but whatever. finally, i've found something to do in singapore :)

in total we caught >30 prawns, with my measly contribution of 4 fairly normal sized ones.

more photos when we find a free day to cook our prawns!

i'm going slightly mad

2008-05-10T21:03:00.000+08:00

first week of psych was spent at imh, talking to a variety of patients, but mostly those with sheeezophrenia, with a treasure trove of tall tales. it's given me some insight about the life of a person labelled mad, and it's saddening to know that after we may giggle about their unbelievable stories told, we still can't do much to help their families and friends. i don't know if this is my idea of medicine, but on second thought, certainly all aspects of health cannot be underestimated.

the tutors were most forgiving about our ignorance and so willing to impart their wise words to us, i believe cg 0.625 and cg2 had a good relaxing time in this peace-inducing place. i surely wouldn't mind working in any hospital with such pretty water features and gardens =p now on to 3 weeks of 2 patients. hai.

anyway, having lotsa time on my hands means watching tv (yay) and thinking too much (boo). which has serious consequences (argh) such as lower backache, morbid jealousy delusions, palpitations, anxiety attacks. someone help me before i go crazy man.

cg 0.625

"what's the name of that fruit? when you cut it, it's the shape of a star?"

sex, lies and ecgs.

2008-05-02T01:54:00.004+08:00

okay so maybe there's no sex involved here. but my point is, i really can't stand it when People lie so blatantly - try harder please!

grumpy + sleepy + my aircon is turned to 20degrees but it's still too hot to sleep + getting hungry + freaking have to wake up to the destroyer of peace and quiet = RAWR :(

i really need to focus on studying for the emed eopt on saturday!!! :(
god help me, i still have many many more months of this shit to go.
hopefully, this is the worst it can ever be.

addendum: omg i wrote this at 2am, and originally wanted to come home to delete it cos some people may actually be telling the truth. but, as it turns out they really did lie, and i am still pissed as hell that people would say anything just to try to get ahead. or goodness knows what.

what luck.

2008-04-27T15:40:00.003+08:00

ah what sweet escape, from the never-ending emed case conference, with ian and co. to have lunch at crystal jade. then as we were driving to sentosa, the clouds turned from friendly white to sinister grey, but as luck would have it, they stayed neutral the whole time we were there.

10 litres of cold drinks from the birthday girl, frisbee (with a query broken nose), slippers and sand, sand in slippers, slippers in sand, complete with a borrowed pair of shades to make the afternoon more or less slacking heaven. later, a ploy to get dear zj to come join us, and the (un)fortunate coincidence of us shortly after sighting some major moobs got everyone laughing like crazy!

nice view

not so nice view

for some reason, all the slippers were stuffed in the sand.

nice photo! (haha i took it that's why)

bums! (the rest were frisbeeing)

so much for frisbeeing - joel, how's your nose?
happy birthday hon! :)
cheese :)

you'll always be my baby

2008-04-23T00:36:00.005+08:00

it was absolute chaos on saturday night when we did our first (and at that time, only) A&E nightcall; beginning and ending with cpr, filled in between with typical chest pain and breathlessness, plus lotsa trauma cases, RTAs and alcoholically intoxicated people. ah, symptoms that occur during the weekend. some patients have stories that make you stop and think.

it was absolutely exhausting doing another nightcall on monday, even before i could recover from the weird bodyclock shock. the bad sleep i got on the examination bed in the medicalstudentlounge was veryverycold and just... bad. and the worst thing is, i seem to have lost so much time wandering around in my zombie state. is it wednesday already?! urgh this has gotten me grumpy and displeased with i dunno what.

when you start to feel that all is wrong with the world, always remember that your dog will (/should) love you unconditionally :)

you'll always be a part of me
i'm part of you indefinitely
boy don't you know you can't escape me

oh darling cos you'll always be my baby

hey there miscreation, bring a flower

2008-04-15T11:43:00.001+08:00

time is wasting - flying, in fact. another week zoomed by just like that, too little time in the resus room, too much time in the consult rooms, and during the long drives to and from changi. before i know it, i haven't seen some of my friends for weeks and months and years. hai.

places to go: africa, to the edge of victoria falls. looks like heaven to me.

hopefully, this'll materialise sooner or later. sooner will be better; i imagine a fat old lady would probably fall off the edge more easily =p

these are the days of our lives

2008-04-11T00:39:00.002+08:00

5 craaaaaazy girls (and chris chan) were probably the most enthusiastic people in the audience tonight; maybe it's the weekday crowd. fat bottomed girls was quite strangely out of point, or at least i've been very unenlightened, and the Bicycle!Bicycle!Bicycle! teaser was pure evil! but enough of complaining, We Will Rock You... ROCKED!!! especially so in our great seats all thanks to rose's early planning - [don't listen to honlyn] I was right smack in the middle! :)

and till this day i've been sniggering to myself everytime i recall rose actually pushing chris "for the sake of moshing", even during serious consultations in the ED. sheesh!

scaramouche scaramouche, will you do the fandango?

i love MiG ayesa! and guitar solo guy and the whole cast and crew! :)
and i love the cheat-money killer queen (actually i didn't like this song! please don't kill me) blouse i bought.
if you haven't watched, please go catch WE WILL ROCK YOU!

if you feel it, it must be real

2008-04-03T21:38:00.003+08:00

was listening to madonna's 4 minutes and perusing facebook when i came across this photograph. grab a boy and grab a girl! :) my parents are worried - it's my desktop photo.

family medicine posting will be over tomorrow, and though my groupmates were more interested in mini-golf games on handphones in the last few days, i've kinda had a lot of time to reflect on life (aka: stone). honestly i think i learnt a lot more about primary healthcare in my afternoon at my mum's clinic than i did in the past 4 weeks. simply because the lectures and tutorials and little lessons in between consultation sit-ins have slowly been integrated into my system and it seems a lot clearer now, in the last 24 hours of the posting.

as mundane as it seems, managing chronic (and stubborn) cases of poorly controlled DM every single day forever and ever, i still think that this is still a very real option for me in the future. more than having the latest equipment to laser this and xray that, more than just excluding the urgent differential diagnoses and solving just the acute problems, it's about being human and sincerely lending a helping hand, a listening ear and a comforting shoulder.

that being said, i'm still looking forward to emed posting! :)

why it's going to be a great weekend

2008-03-29T11:07:00.001+08:00

1. just woke up from 10 good hours of sleep
with NO neckache or any kind of bodyache!

2. a whole tupperware container full of kahlua-rich tiramisu in the fridge
$120 cooking lesson, well worth every penny =p

3. just look out your window - shiney happy blue skies
rou an please call me back about swimming!

4. good food galore (actually that's more like on a daily basis)
as long as we're not forced to eat at westmall
addendum: omg i just inhaled a bowl of toapayoh beef noodles. YUMMY!

5. one more week to emed! woohoo!
have you seen me enthusiastic about school before?

why i'm in a bad mood right now

2008-03-28T01:57:00.005+08:00

//but i assure you i will have calmed down by morning, mostly because sleep does wonders, and sleepiness is an extended state of emily//

1. why are people so competitive?
more importantly/self-centredly, why am i never good enough to win.

2. why do people give others false information?
more importantly, why give it out to people whose opinions i value.
the world is too small for rumours to fly. thanks a lot man.

3. why do i lose my temper?
more importantly, why do i never confront the right people.
fucking angry like fire. angry like volcano la.

4. why do i never go anywhere?
more importantly, is it because it's too safe here.

most importantly...

5. why is it SO EXPENSIVE to go to newyork?!

homeskillet!

2008-03-21T12:52:00.002+08:00

haha obviously still not over the cool juno lines.

anyway these days have been nicely occupied by friends and food; they come together. philip is back! and i'm still full from dinner :)
here are some photos...

nice gathering! a brief respite from the drudgery of medschool.
good friday is here, and apparently so is the 财神! hahaha!!
anyway, betcha it's gonna rain today. it always does.

cough and cold, very cold.

2008-03-14T00:01:00.002+08:00

the rain is such a wet blanket. the ground's too slippery and i hate not-here-not-there drizzles. hai, i wanted to run lor (yeah right)

it's quite pathetic how we spend such a short time (4 days of gp posting and 2 weeks of polyclinic posting) on that which provides 80% of the healthcare in the country. but then again, who am i to say anything when i can barely keep awake even while actively trying to participate in consultations. maybe it's just the weather =p

btw, perhentian is dead and gone.
i'm wishing for this...

ps. happy pop to david!

please let me go to perhentian

2008-03-09T19:31:00.003+08:00

school starts tomorrow. m4 starts tomorrow.

let the reality sink in. slowly. sigh.

it was a massive 赌场风云 week (35 episodes - new record!)

and an even more massive movie week (jumper meetthespartans cj7 juno nocountryforoldmen theleapyears charliewilsonswar)

yes there are officially more words from the show titles than there are words that mean something in this ridiculous blog entry. because my brain is rotten and my arms are aching from washing the car. excuse this crap, i just have a habit of blogging for the sake of filling up space =p

in an absolutely foul mood now because honestly (haha this is rare, especially on this blog) i have this gut feeling that nothing is going to happen in my life, everyone will carry on having their fantastic lives and go travelling and i will rot in my swivel chair :( the most exciting thing about monday is that it's one day closer to perhentian materialising, hopefully. this is the view of besar (big island) from kecil (small island)

it all started with a chair

2008-03-06T01:47:00.000+08:00

movie marathon:

1. cj7 (sucked, but i still cried)

2. juno (every. single. line. in it rocked)

3. no country for old men (missed the first half because i didn't look like i was above 16, urgh. nothing else to say about the friendlyunderstandingcaringandkind people at GV Grand)

and in between, i read "life is elsewhere" (milan kundera) and took a nice picture of my feet/a picture of my nice feet :)

runaway train

2008-03-04T03:34:00.003+08:00

went cycling today, for a total of 3 ass-aching hours. zhenjin was my partner for the most part, cos we were cycling at the same pace (read: cos he didn't abandon me) him/his feet/wheels were making more revolutions than me though, since he set his gear to the highest, thus expending more calories haha.

i like to look around while cycling, see the ant-bitten holes in the leaves on the branches overhanging the pavement, the cracks in the tarmac below, the crows feet on the old men who cycle past and smile; it's startling to find that everything in its imperfection is so breathtaking anyway.

i love closing my eyes and tilting my head back, very slightly la. not for the dramamama wind-blowing-through-hair look which i'm very sure i can never achieve, but for the feeling of having the sea breeze wash over me. real in the sense that you feel every contour of your face being touched. yes, alive is what i am.

i never knew people could talk while cycling - i always thought the wind would steal our voices - and it's not small talk, i mean really have decent, heartfelt conversations whilst zooming through east coast park. even if/when too tired to keep talking, this is the first time i rode next to someone and not caused any accidents. good day indeed :)

other random things:

1. the song that's been playing in my car/head: runaway train by jamie scott and the town.

2. one of the other highlights of the good day is that we were almost on tv for some food show when the crew invaded the famous beach road prawn mee stall, where we (zj huilin i) were having lunch.

3. there's a fantastic little cd shop in shaw building - dinner at sofra for bra's birthday - that nicely agreed to order jay chou's debut album for me. and at a very very reasonable price!! hurray! :) good day indeed!

photos:urgh, suriya blocking me. grrrrr!

jump my love, it's a leap day

2008-02-29T21:45:00.001+08:00

i feel obligated to post something just because it's the extra day in the calendar today.

My favorite animal is steak." ~Fran Lebowitz

btw, please go and watch 赌场风云. hongkong gambling show, it rocks!

i won't go home without you

2008-02-27T23:41:00.000+08:00

yes, because you guys left your cars at my house! =p

yay today marks the last day as an m3! :)
*cross fingers* no vivas, no supps, please!

squid ink pasta - no smoker's teeth photos cos too busy eating
and the biggest pizza i've ever eaten!

jumper just reminded me, for the millionth time
apart from LOTR, print-to-films generally aren't worth it

"come back and we'll go to vivocity for dinner!" was the invitation from my mum, but who knew that my dad decided to bring us to *insert cardealer's name*'s "place" for dinner instead. this "place" was not some new funky restaurant like my mum and i imagined it to be. horror of horrors, it was the *insert car company*'s showroom, and dinner was catered hors d'oeuvre. as my good friend likes to say, >.<

luckily my night ended with a healthy dose of shopping, klassie and rocky, and david archuleta on ai! :) alright sleep beckons, can't wait for tomorrow and friday and saturday and sunday!

albus the lion!

2008-02-24T21:35:00.001+08:00

so i know this is retardedly delayed seeing as i watched the movie a million years ago but i am only halfway through the book so it's not that late haha. this is a prime example of what NOT to do the night before one of the most important exams of my 3rd year as a student aka the Second Professional Examination for the Degrees of M.B.,B.S. (AY 2007/2008) hopefully my dear albus will help me avoid any vivas/supps (and if i'm lucky, score well enough to impress the people in whatever university i'm trying to get attached to for electives) woo.

anyway this morning's homily made so much sense mainly cos i was awake for once, and i agree with it wholeheartedly although i must admit i've never even tried. even if water is good for you or whatever, pouring it down someone's throat is just gonna choke them. i much prefer the moderate and patient take on things like this. hm, enough about that, interpret it whatever way you want, i'm going to put post-its on my notes! good luck everyone, may cofm and pharm be a breeze :)

i claim you with my gaze !

2008-02-22T01:40:00.005+08:00

haha what a fucking bad title, but it's too hilarious a phrase to let it just pass quietly and shamelessly into the archive of weird msn nicks. this is Almost as funny as angry like fire! which was what i was for about 5 seconds after spotting the mr hit-my-car-but-won't-pay. but i cooled down after the free dinner [i need to just take this space here to say that the welfare committee has been really nice and morale-boosting with all the free dinners. truly lifesavers] and after a paper aeroplane landed on my table with a nice message. and after "planning" our post-exam activities. and after talking to jo about this horrible msn nick. haha i am rambling. read on and you'll see why i'm so hyper even at this ungodly hour.

arghhh so exciting!!! i can't wait for next sunday. oh to be back in the ri gym, pretending to be white belts (not hard to pretend, seeing as i haven't been back since 2004) and learning from scratch. omg i can't wait for the PT! haha it's torture but i like it! okay i don't like the front crawl and the one where you just bounce across the mat on your back -ouch- and stuff that cause abrasions but i like the prawn crawl and my favourite exercise of all is the one where you run, scissors-ing your legs, sideways across the mats. i never quite got what muscles it worked out, but it's really great fun!! omg so exciting!!! :)

although, just imagine. every muscle movement will be so sluggish and strained. how inflexible, slow and unfamiliar everything will be. i doubt i can wear my gi the right way anymore. or find my belt. haha, still arghhh i'm damn excited!!! :)

and, i'm looking forward to going to the library tomorrow woohoo! so much fun during the non-studying times, gossiping and eating and whatnot with kaizhi and kenrick. or maybe. all this excitement could be due to the can of coffee i had this afternoon - so totally not a wise move!

a week before cofm pros - a boring/honest entry

2008-02-18T09:19:00.006+08:00

3 discarded drafts (of religion, the past, and the future) later, i present to you the most dull blog entry ever. self-censorship! is going to kill me soon, if the exams don't. i've been doing everything lately, as if the hols have started/never ended, and studying takes up about a few minutes of my life each day. which is starting to reek of last-minute-hug-buddha's-legs desperation in this last week before the pros. fuck. it's library time.

on an out of point note. i saw in the pharmacy, on the same shelf as hydrating face masks, firming breast masks with moisturising properties for the sensitive skin there. it was dome-shaped and i pointed and laughed at it so cruelly the the lady behind me discreetly glancing at it glowered at me when i caught her eye. hahaha, breast masks. what is the world coming to.

anyway i was thinking, you really don't need friends who fade into oblivion after they get distracted by other things, or only talk to you when there is gossip or some favour to ask of you. by surrounding yourself with all these people who traipse in and out of your life, whose lives you're just a passerby of, in the end it's just feeding an insecurity - that quantity will make up for the quality. but i get it, obviously no one can be there 24/7, no one is perfect, and sometimes people change after a spell of indifference.

if it really is Meant To Be, no matter how long, the chemistry won't change. unfortunately, it has, for most of the people i'm slowly shrugging off. the feeling of lightness comes also with a slight twinge of emptiness. so, be understanding, less needy, more independent, and if there's no other way, be the same to people for the sake of self-preservation. you just have to wait and see. time will tell, and time will make you stronger and braver so as to counter this inevitable consequence of life.

today my 2 motivations (argh bad english) for going to school are an orange giraffe and the promise of new york/not being retained. hurray.

addendum: ladies and gentlemen, this, apparently, is what an orange giraffe looks like :) still, a sucker for skilful hands am i.

Single Awareness Day

2008-02-14T23:59:00.001+08:00

always been acutely aware of it, thank you very much.

my mum asked "nobody gave you flowers?" GG. happy vday friends!

anyway, just to make this blog less dead, here's a picture of the coolest (biggest/tallest) cake of 2008, even with candles sticking out from the side, that you can't see. ps. the cake reads "no one's calling you fat!"

the birthday boy. only smart people can see him? =p

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOLYN!

2008-02-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

yay happy 22nd birthday to my best friend in the entire world! :)
omg i sound high, but i assure you i am not. cofm has made sure of that.

anyway, in no order whatsoever, i want to watch these movies!

1. kungfu dunk
2. 27 dresses
3. no country for old men
4. jumper (or read the book)
5. juno
6. charlie wilson's war
7. atonement
8. michael clayton
9. diving bell and the butterfly (or read the book)
10. cj7

haha!! i'm glad i've watched sweeney todd!! love love love johnny depp. it is, to quote some friends, "owning" and really, i enjoyed myself thoroughly with saus and hons. an inadvertent girls outing! hai. this year's visiting has been cui, but at least i went to hon's, for the 2nd time in the 12 years i've known her, and kenrick's for some mahjong, with a tutorial and some tips from the mahjong pro tzeyeong! love your tiles, and they will love you :)

alright. psyche up! cofm and pharmaco need to be studied in order for goingsout and holiday plans to materialise! ooh the beautiful beaches are beckoning! but the belly is burgeoning! haha.